Last night at Tim's house, for the first time, we went physically too far, out of control. Not sex really, because we both had all our clothes on, but it felt very good! Tim still didn't touch me where he may not, but we were still very aroused! Foreplay, I know. Aunty Rhona sent an sms 12:30 at night! Just to hear how we were doing. It helped Tim to ask me to say stop! He had to ask three times before I said stop! I'm kinda disappointed in myself but it was too good to regret it.
Now Tim and I have made new boundaries: no kissing on the tummy. (Which was - I may not say divine - fantastic!) Tim said we got a warning; we don't want to step on a landmine. Now we put up red tape to guard against it happening again: don't visit alone at home. His parents once said to him that if we find it too hard, we should rather get married sooner. Shockingly, I don't feel guilty. Just kind of surprised and dreamy.
Tim says he feels tenderly towards me. He wants to treat me like a lady. My body was shaking after. Why I would wait until marriage to have sex is because I want to prove something. I want to be able to say, I waited. I want to wear a white dress honestly. And most of all, I don't want to steal from our marriage.
Lord, please help!