30 May 2002
Well, Tim was away in Welkom for the weekend and we missed each other extremely. But before that, I must write that last week Friday (24th), Tim arrived at my house surprising me with a bunch of flowers! My babe, just arrived to tell me he loves me, he misses me, he is miserable without me and good luck for my exam the next day. He melted my heart!
I was so excited! Wow, I love surprises and Tim! It means the world to me! He looked so loveable standing there. Dad said I had a visitor and it flashed through my mind that it might be him, but I was shocked to see him with beautiful flowers (nice touch!). dad asked, "Is it nice to be loved?" An O, I feel loved; so very loved by such a wonderful brilliant guy!
So I have to show him that I love him too. So guess what I do...
I wait for him to get back from Welkom until 12pm at his house. He was thouroughly surprised! He loved it! He just held me. I'm so glad that I could surprise him back! It's a good thing that I did because I think he was wondering how I felt about him. Well, now he can see: I adore him!
Tonight, we had quite a make-out session. Sheesh, I wanted him bad! It was mostly my fault. I've been feeling emotionally empty and while kissing him and needing him to hold me, it dawned on me that I was looking for my emotional cup to be filled up. And the physical love was helping but I know that only God's infilling can truly fill/satisfy my need.
It was nice though; of course it was nice! The girl coming on to the guy like I did. Freakazoid! Keren phoned just in time to invite me to go back to Menlyn. By 'just in time', I don't mean we would have slept together, but Tim and I are getting quite fired up!
Please Lord... what must I pray? That God would guard us, watch over us and keep us from evil? For the love of God, we can't mess up! I don't think we will. Of course not! I could never!
But if I can think/imagine it...