8 June 2002
Well, today was wonderful. It is our 6 month anniversary! We had a picnic with my family. It was great! Tim played ball with the boys and we went for a walk through the Botanical Gardens. I laughed a lot because I'm so happy!
Then tonight, I cooked Chinese and we sat in my flat with candle light and ate with chopsticks. It was lots of fun. Tim even asked if I wanted to dance and we just held each other. Very romantic! Very special.
We kissed a lot too. Too much I think, I don't know, it's fine. We had talked and chatted and laughed a lot today and we didn't do anything wrong but the kissing so much seems pointless. Some kisses are nice but not all the time. But I like the attention and love I get from Tim. So, I don't say anything, but knowing him, he would want me to tell him to stop. What's the matter with me? For me, kissing is like coffee. Nice while I'm drinking it, but a bitter aftertaste and I get a headache worrying about it.
[ Note from present-day Janet: When one restricts oneself and feels one is not allowed to do a certain thing, one can try doing it but will not enjoy it. It works the same in marriage. If the husband or wife is concerned that they are sinning, they will pull back emotionally and hinder pleasure. Many women, although married still feel that sex is sinful and dirty and so struggle to allow themselves pleasure. It is a mind-set that is difficult to break but is possible by talking with your partner, reading good books including Song of Songs, so that one can give yourself permission to enjoy sex as God intended!]