Love is Lekker!

6 May 2002

Wow! Tonight Tim and I had such a wonderful time! No fighting or disagreeing. Just nice chatting and relaxing together. It was wonderful! O Lord, thank you so much! What a man you have given me! We talked and talked.
I love him dearly.

SMS from Tim:

Liefie, gaan dit goed?

My studies hou my langer op as wat ek gehoop het.

Jy moet jou aand geniet en ek is

lief vir jou baie

11 April 2002

Hi baby. dink aan jou. 

Sterkte met more se eksamen.

Ek sal more baie liefde na jou 

kant toe stuur @

24 April 2002

Skat! My aand was great!

Niks slegte goed :-)

Ons verhouding is so pure soos

kan kom. Dit is so goed dat as ons nie keer nie

gaan dit net BETER

27 April 2002

Janet, ek mis jou met alles wat in my is.

Elke sekond wat verby gaan val ek

net meer in die oneindigheid van

perfekte liefde vir jou.

Vis! Ek like jou!

The Puzzle Process

4 May 2002

Timothy and I had a good chat last night. Communication is very important to Tim. He wants me to speak what's on my mind. The thing is, I often get offended, defensive and upset by what he says. We've had a number of disagreements lately and it's mainly because I'm so sensitive. God showed me that I must remember that Tim is on my side and doesn't intend to hurt me. I can't ask him to watch what he says because that would cut off his tongue, and for him, that's the dooming of our relationship. So I said sorry. I think he said sorry. And we'll remain the open candid people that we are.

The differences between me and Tim startled me yesterday. We're like chalk and cheese. His taste is so opposite to mine that if I find we have a similarity, I want to throw a party! God, are you sure we are meant for each other? Tim is convinced we were made for each other. And last night, I told him that I had peace that we should get married. But all the while, I'm thinking Eeeeeeek! We are in for hard work because we are so different. Talking through all our differences is going to take long!

Lord, why didn't you plan for someone that at least likes the same programmes as me? But I love him and he's your guy. Please Lord, can you make it easy for us to get along, now and always.

Then God reminded me about our puzzle process. Totally opposite and different pieces, yet fit perfectly together with God being the common thread! Praise God!

Well-balanced relationship

24 April 2002

Last night, I went to visit Timothy. We kissed a lot. It was so nice! He said he like my top (the three-quarter blue one) and I liked his black top! But it was like we couldn't get enough of one another (sigh). Tim shared personal info with me and appreciate it. He also said that I'm the only girl for him! He's not interested in any other.

This is such a nice time in my life! Our relationship is still pure - we might have gotten quite excited and turned on big time last night, but other nights we don't kiss at all, we just talk all the time. It's a well-balanced relationship.

Last night, and romantic times like it, keeps the fire burning and the sparks flying. Tim said that he loves me with Agape love and is trying his best to let me know that he respects me a lot and thinks pure things of me. I know this is true, but it's also nice to know that 'I do it for him'. :)

I will follow him

21 April 2002

Tonight, I went with Tim to Meyerton NG church. He preached. It was great! He is excellent - a natural preacher - or should I say, anointed by God to preach! It was so nice to sit alone in the pew and have him stand up there; look at me every now and again. I could do that - support him - for the rest of my life! O Lord, please say I will! And the trip in the car: there is no one I would rather spend hours in the car with than Timothy Kieswetter! He wanted to talk to me!

It's not nice when he has to drop me off and go home and then plays games with his sister. I'm jealous of her just because she gets to be with Tim so much. And, it's wrong of course. Hopefully, I'll get to spend the rest of my days with him, but it's still not nice now :( Sorry Justine for being jealous.

Tim reminds me that there's lots of time for playing... one day! :) He knows. He is calm and patient.
I must be too.

I messed up

20 April 2002

I messed up last night. I went to a dumb karioke party and danced with a sex-obsessed guy. In my defence: I went to the party to spend time with a friend and give Tim some space. I didn't intend to dance with the oke, he didn't ask, he just grabbed me. (I'd had half a glass of wine. So what?)

It hurt Tim. I told him immediately. We talked it through and in the end, it has benefited our relationship. He has realized how much he loves me and is jealous. I'm glad of this. But as Tim suspected tonight, I'm mad at myself. How little self respect must I have to let/allow a drunk perv to pull me close to him? I'm disgusted and ashamed of myself.

He just doesn't get it! I feel so upset! Maybe I'm tired. Maybe I'm unreasonable. But the fact remains. So what if he is right and I'm wrong. It's the truth, I still feel upset and hurt so what has he actually accomplished? So he is direct and honest but I need him to be gentle too. I have to learn to be direct. He has to learn to be soft.

Seems to me, us girls are just too needy of acceptance, affirmation and love. But we, I, should be getting it from God!

Tim is right: I need to accept critique. I told him about the sandwich technique. We renamed it the Spur hamburger technique: Say something positive and/or encouraging. (That's the top bun.) Then give the small constructive criticism. (That's the meat patty.) Then say another positive affirmation. (The final bun.) One can accept criticism better when its coated in 'buns' like that.

He said he'll work on it.
I feel better now.

Firsts

10 April 2002

First time he came to my house, came to meet the family: Tuesday  25 October. I sent him an sms before he arrived to reassure him and help him relax.

First time he asked me out: A Monday night in an e-mail, 2 weeks after we met. I said no.

First time we held hands... too soon. It was awkward.

But the second time he asked me out was the 8th December, I said yes and we held hands. I couldn't stop laughing and giggling. It was great! Tim said hands have many nerves and that we could try all the ways of holding hands. It felt good and comfortable.

First time we kissed was also that night. In front of m front door. He asked. I'm glad. It went fine. the second kiss a few moments later wasbetter :)

The first time he took my hand and kissed the back of it, I think was in the movies. Our first movie together as a couple... what was it? Monsters Inc.
Chills ran through me (and not because of the movie!) Good grief, it was nice! Now we do that often. Also, he tickled my arm. Sjoe, it was too much for me! I was becoming so aroused! I couldn't believe myself!

We shared lots of personal information in those first few weeks. Tim says he felt he moaned a lot to me and unloaded his baggage on me. But I don't remember it like that. It felt good that he would share stuff with me. The talk in the car.

So, was it love at first sight? I don't want to say so, and yet it was. But in a Godly way. Not physical attraction but spiritual attraction at first talk. I mean, I went home that night and told my family the next morning that I had met the guy who could potentially be my husband! So that shows that from Day 1, I had a good feeling about Timothy.

For 4 weeks in December, we were away from each other. He phoned me every day except 1, (and that was unpreventable). We built on our friendship in that time. We chatted about many things and I found myself longing each day for the next phone call from him.

So, we've come a way and its been a wonderful exciting journey. Then why do I feel that I still don't know him? Probably because I don't... I'm not ready to marry him but at least I know I want to!
Big time!

The Beginning as told in April 2002

10 April 2002

I feel seeing as I did not start this book until January, it is necessary to tell some things of the beginning of this wonderful and Godly romance!

We met on the 22nd October 2001 at Nicole's 18th birthday held at Magnolia Dell. I had not been at the party long, made a paper plate Birthday card for Nicole and I went to give it to her when I saw Tim. He was standing with Charl and Riaan but it was very dark. I didn't see any of them very clearly. Nicole introduced me and we chatted for a while about Theologos. My antennae for possible husband material had just recently fallen off. I was no longer searching. I was at peace and trusting God.

I was interested in what Timothy was saying. He spoke about the Tabernacle and I remember being impressed but polite. When he told me about his theory of love, I became excited and shared mine but got shot down. :) He was right. I had made Eros love an evil, ungodly thing and Tim said God made ALL love good including Eros! The world had perverted love. He said he felt sorry for my husband with me having that viewpoint :) [To read our two Theories of Love in detail, see Timothy's blog http://dieglashuis.wordpress.com/2012/08/11/janet-ek-kry-jou-man-glad-nie-jammer-nie/)

Anyway, I like a guy who has a Theory of Love and I was drawn to his obvious Godly character and I sensed he was attracted to me too :) When it began to rain, I hoped that that was not going to be the end of the evening and quickly went over to ask him if he was going to Nicole's house. He was! I prayed with Keren in the car that God's will would be done. Both Keren and I were impressed with Timothy.

At Nicole's, I wanted to impress too, so although it was cold, I took my jersey off so that Tim could see my figure better :) (confession). I felt him watching me at the table and I took peaks at him too. I joked and he laughed. But we wanted to talk alone and we got a chance later. I spoke about Joshua Harris' book 'I kissed dating goodbye'. He talked about Judas Iscariot and lots of other things but I think I was too self-conscious to listen.

I dropped a hint that my brother Joshua was doing a musical 'Jesu' at the State Theatre never imagining that he would actually say that he would like to go with me! I was thrilled!
Keren said I mustn't ask for his phone number and I kinda promised but when he walked me to the car quietly and quite serious, I got worried and asked his number "to let him know about Jesu". He did better than that and gave me his business card! A bit impersonal I thought but later he said that he doesn't give it to many people.

I felt like hugging him but I didn't.

I could hardly sleep that night. I felt it had been a momentous night. And as it turns out...
it was!